A Fighting Spirit (or Where's The Quality Care In Rushing The Dying Into Eternity?)

The social worker said to me "It would be nice if she could just let go."

She said this - with the best of intentions - in reference to my mother who has been struggling with multiple myeloma since being diagnosed with it eight years ago.

Ordinarily, this statement would not have caught my attention except that I had recently cautioned a friend about her penchant to rush through traffic.

We rush, we rush, we rush! We rush into life; we rush through life, and now it seems that we should rush out of life!

What next? Shall we rush through eternity?

Where's the "quality care" in that kind of thinking?

This "RUSH" mentality is symptomatic of a "dis-eased" philosophy!

I'd like to think that at least the death process can be a time of intimacy between a person and their God. And intimacy should never be rushed!

Of course, my mother's body has been ravaged by this disease and I struggle to remember her with that abundant physical strength with which she raised me.

But we don't love our mothers for their bodies - we love them for their SPIRIT! And as long as her spirit is alive in that ragged body of hers, I want her to live every nanosecond of her life.

If I appear to be a doting son or a momma's boy, so be it. But she proved herself to be a tremendous friend to me and I know that if I were suffering from cancer and she had strength, I would have "quality" attention - and NO suggestion of letting go!

Could you look at your best friend and encourage them to "let go" of their final seconds; to let go of the final vestiges of the universe's greatest miracle? (A friend is a friend and just because she also happens to be your mother doesn't mean that she should be treated differently.)

For whose benefit should we want her to rush through her dying process? Certainly not for my benefit - for I learn new and fruitful things from her every day.

We don't know what kind of communication is going on inside the womb as a new person is being developed, nor do we know the nature of the communication that is going on inside a person who is dying. Though under the influence of morphine, to observe my mother in her sleep, saying, "Yes, Jesus", "Yes, Jesus", as if she were respectfully conversing with the Lord, is a wonder and a beauty to me.

Though her verbal communication has been greatly reduced and her body has all but vanished, the spirit that I know as my mother - the spirit that has loved, chastised and forged me - is as strong as ever in her.

I don't believe in Kevorkianism!

There are lessons in pain. Witnessing pain educates those of us who want to learn from it. It teaches us to savor life more fully. It teaches us to be better, more comprehensive lovers of life and it is the best teacher of empathy. And empathy is the beginning of "quality care".

Views: 683


You need to be a member of Brandergy to add comments!

Comment by Vincent Wright on July 7, 2015 at 6:01pm

21 years later or not, as long as I have a functioning mind, I'll never forget the birth, the life, THE SPIRIT, and the death of my 100% FAVORITE "Fighting Spirit", my Mom ... (who passed away 21 years ago, today...)


Comment by Vincent Wright on March 21, 2011 at 5:22pm

Thanks kindly, Jeff.


Just to clarify a bit: The social worker words about "letting go" was about her wanting my MOTHER "to let go".


Of course, with her inordinate tenacity, "letting go" was a completely alien concept to my mother.  (I was proud of her when she was able to let go of her physical existence...the spiritual one is just as palpable as ever, Jeff...)

Comment by Vincent Wright on March 7, 2011 at 10:47am

Thanks, Mike. 

By the way: While this is primarily a business network, I've intentionally incorporated more philosophical, spiritual, artistic things into the site, as well...many of get our real power from such things...and it is that power which I believe helps us to do business better and, thereby, live by...

Comment by Vincent Wright on October 24, 2008 at 2:27am
Do you need to talk? If so, feel free to give me a call: 1-860-967-0563

(You and your daughter seem to be dancing the same mother-daughter dance my sister danced with my mother. Though my sister has now somewhat compensated by having unbelievably strong relationships with her 3 great daughters, she and I almost never talk without her telling me about a dream she had about our mother - 14 years after we last held her...)

Keep STRONG, Lucinda - and do call me if you need an ear...
Comment by Vincent Wright on September 21, 2008 at 8:43pm
Though we're talking about the more serious things family member can face, it's already a joy having you join us on this site. I believe we have MUCH to discuss...

Thanks for sharing - and - Keep STRONG, Thomas!

A community of professionals focused on brand strategy for brand energy.

© 2019   Created by Vincent Wright.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service