One of the oddest things about the beautiful human mind is that it can trick us out of getting what we need. And we can come up with an endless number of reasons why we haven't addressed a need but, the troublesome thing about "needs" is that they don't go away - on their own, that is.

Recently, I've been having some terrific conversations with some of the most intelligent men and women I've ever met.

Yet, there seems to be this common thread among many of them: many are stuck right at the precipice of getting the thing they need. But they don't get it even though from my perspective the distance between what they need and where they are is amazingly short.

Many seem to have some sort of mental "braking-mechanism" that stops them from doing the very thing they need in order to succeed: ASKING.

If you want help, asking is the thing that triggers helping hands to take action.

But, and correct me if I'm wrong, I believe that the biggest challenge of asking is that we either don't know or can't or won't express what our needs are.

We know that the needs are there.

We know that you have needs.

We just don't know what they are and we don't know when you need to have them addressed.

As one of the community leaders here on Brandergy, I'd like for each member to feel as comfortable as possible in sharing your needs.

Do you know what you need? - If so, tell us about it.
Do you know how to determine what you need? - If not, ask us about it.
While we may not be able to help the whole world, we should be able to help you.

But, you have to help us find your need...

You have to ASK...


+Thanks, and Keep STRONG!!

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Comment by Vincent Wright on February 12, 2018 at 11:01pm


Comment by Vincent Wright on June 2, 2012 at 9:42am


It absolutely amazes me that I missed a response from YOU on the subject of ASK!  I'm a fan of how you've handled this topic in the past and believe that I've read all 5 of your posts on it.  (If I have missed 1, I hope to remedy that, soon...)

Thanks for the link to your 5 posts on "The ASK":

Keep STRONG, Terry!

Comment by Vincent Wright on June 2, 2012 at 9:34am


Somehow, I missed your earlier response but, I'm happy that you've also discovered Terry Bean's Motor City Connect...

Keep STRONG, Walethia!

Comment by Vincent Wright on June 2, 2012 at 9:32am


I really like your summarization.  We've discussed it before but, I especially appreciate your reminding us that some people don't know how to ask... it's far too easy to forget that some people have not learned some of the behaviors some of us may take for granted as being "easy"...

Thanks, Paul!

Comment by Paul Dube on June 2, 2012 at 7:18am

Great post! IMHO

Some do not ASK because they do not want to put others on the spot / be a burden.

Some do not ASK because they don't want to admit they need assistance.

Some do not ASK because they have difficulty with rejection.

Some do not ASK because they have too much pride.

Some do not ASK because they don't know how.

For example... in a time far far away... after a storm, a tree between my home & my neighbor's home fell. The tree line "belonged" to my property and it fell on my property. The only tool I had to deal with it was an 8" pruning saw. Rather than ask my neighbor for help, I cut the tree up by myself with my little pruning saw. Why didn't I ASK for help? I don't know but I did learn. I have gotten slightly better at asking.

Comment by Terry Bean on June 29, 2010 at 10:55am
What a great topic, Vincent. It's amazing to me how tongue tied we get when it comes to ASKing for what we seek.

Based on my experiences with MLPF/MVPF I created a group called Motor City Connect in late 2006. The group now has close to 5000 members. At our very core is the ASK. I think it is so important we dropped 60 second commercials and elevator pitches and just do "ASKS".

I had written 5 different pieces on the concept over the course of a week back in 2008. Last summer I put together a piece that linked all 5 together. This year they showed up in my recently released book, The Universal Guide to Business Networking

Here is the excerpt from the original blog post:

Vincent Wright said "The most important thing you need to answer as a networker is 'Who do you need to meet?'" That's true. Once you know that, you had better know how to ASK for them. Read these 5 posts to learn more.

Here is a link that will take you to it and subsequently the 5 other posts. You will find these posts "inspiredutaining" Inspiration + Education + Entertaining.

Thanks for starting this very important conversation, Vincent. I have an ASK:

I would ASK that those of you who are interested in Networking check out the link to my book. You will see a video book review done by Chris Brogan (he wrote the foreword).

You all have an excellent day!

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