So, you think you are alone, eh? 

 

Are you sitting alone in your room or your office, thinking you are the only one facing alcoholism, loneliness, DUI charges, drug abuse, a child in trouble, malicious siblings, elderly parents, disabled family members, a disability of your own, a dysfunctional family, alimony, child support, a failing business, a failing career, a struggling job search, divorce, trial separation, incarceration, lack of education, missed deadlines, project overruns, project failures, cheating spouses, misunderstandings, abandonment, poor advice, bill collectors, tax collectors, lack of insurance, verbal abuse, physical abuse, boredom, gun violence, stalking, sexual harassment, threats, aging, physical illness, emotional insecurity, spiritual uncertainty, religious confusion, political ennui, information overload, lack of funding, lack of resources, poor communication skills, lack of energy, weight problems, negative attitude, noisy neighbors, urban violence, a caustic environment, incompetence - yes, INCOMPETENCE !  (It's okay to at least admit incompetence to yourself.)?????

 

I know that's a long list of problems but, as someone who deals with a large number of people on a daily basis, I've heard so many people share their stories about the above list with such personal pain that often I wish there were a way to share with them how many others are telling the same stories that's causing them to hurt so much. 

 

None of them are alone in the pain they are experiencing.           

 

Probably one of the most difficult assignments for you would be to find a problem that just you are experiencing, alone.  

 

Many, many, many other people are experiencing the same problems you're facing.  And you'd be surprised at how much great stuff some of these people are accomplishing even under the duress and stress of strenuous problems.

 

While there is no single solution to all the problems in my opening list, there is one undeniable essential you'll need in successfully addressing these problems: people.  

 

People who successfully manage their problems get the help of other people. 

 

A network of people.

 

A good, strong network of people. 

 

Don't sit there trying to solve your problem alone.  That's not healthy.

 

Get a network to help you.

 

DESIGN a network to help you. 

 

A network of trusted people.  ((If you can't trust them, how can you network with them?)

 

The network you design to help you is NOT about size but, rather, about SPECIFICITY!

 

You'll need specific people and specific types of people to help you solve specific problems.  The more difficult the problem the more specifically you're going to have to network.

 

The better the network of people, the better your chances of successfully addressing not only business and career problems but, also, all the problems in my opening list, and more…

 

Here's wishing your networking is working for you…

 

Keep STRONG, Friends!

+Vincent Wright

Originally posted on www.Brandergy.com on November 30, 2007  at: http://bit.ly/FriendsInTroubleor  http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/Brandergy/message/31956

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Replies to This Discussion

I was beginning to wonder if there was a place to talk about the underside of the job search. The frustration of peole who call you in for an interview when you have a quarter tank of gas in the car, then when you are sittting across the desk from them in your best suit, they say, "Oh, I am not going to hire anyone for a couple of months but I wanted to meet you." This is recruiter speak for a physical inspection to ensure there is nothing "wrong" with you. When I learned this on my last interview, I just smiled like a dummy and said I understood. This fellow had a job posting that I thought I was responding to and that was never mentioned.

 

I am not being negative. I am venting. I know the "never let them see you sweat" speech. I keep smiling, dialing and profiling, giving my all to convince someone who has no intention of hiring me that I am the best thing since money...The system is broken and it needs to be fixed.

 

Bobbi Sanchez

Yep, been there myself actually.  Really pissed me off and I told them so.  It was a huge waste of my time.  Having been on both sides of the table, job seeker and hiring company, I've become to believe that MANY recruiters share qualities of the stereotypical car salesman.

I still get recruiters sending me emails for jobs with titles such as "Urgent requirement for..."  and it's typically something I'm not even qualified for!  And recruiters I use for hiring send me emails such as "This candidate won't be on the market for long, so hurry up and get them" sort of emails.  Let's face it, the first email example is nothing short of spam while the second email example is nothing but hire pressure tactics to get me to hire someone who probably isn't the right person for the job but they want their commission asap.

Personally, I call used car-level "recruiters", *headhunters*...

Bobbi,

I fully, 100% understand where you're coming from.  

Probably the best place on Brandergy.com to discuss job search frustrations is on the Job Seekers group at: http://brandergy.com/group/jobseekers

(Who can reach higher in any atmosphere, in any world than an astronaut?   The height of our business and personal relationships is the formidable, all-empowering "YES") #Yestronaut

Networks go stale, and then they revive but they are not the same network as they once were. But until you are asked to help, if you can, you may not go out of your way to help. Some people are proactive, others are reactive. The requests for help are usually private ones, but sometimes you can identify someone in need. A comment on a social media thread by someone looking for help can lead to you reaching out to assist, and sometimes you make new friends that way, or can even help overcome the problem.

Excellent observation, Joseph.   Networks do go stale... and based upon myriad conversations with members of some of my networks, some networks can go stale because key members are going through major life events... (One Brandergy member revealed to me that he was in the hospital for 3 years! He was just getting out on the day of my last call to him. Numerous others have also gone through or are going through significant life events...) 

I've got a good ear, but little time.  That said, like Vincent, I'm happy to find time to listen if anyone needs it. :)

p.s. Yes Vincent, I'm still alive and kicking! LOL

Thanks for lending us your supremely well-focused ear, Gerald...

(And truly happy to hear you're still alive and kicking! :-) LOL ) 

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